Marcia Gay Harden to Mothers Who Don’t Accept Their LGBTQ Children: ‘You’re Making a Great Big Mistake’

Oscar winner Marcia Gay Harden offered impassioned — and at times, hilarious — advice for parents who don’t accept their queer children while being honored at the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s A Place We Call Home gala.

“We want to change things so that basic human queer rights are protected, so that we’re safe, so our children are safe, so that we have equal opportunity in the workplace, so that we’re not discriminated against, so we can marry or adopt children or serve in the military or church…I think it all starts in the home,” Harden said. “The people I need to talk to tonight are old, staunch, stubborn families.”

She continued, “Families who don’t accept the queer community, and because I also believe that mothers are the real vanguards of change and the torchbearers for community, it is mothers that I’m talking to tonight.”

All three of Harden’s children, Eulala, Hudson and Julitta, identify as part of the LGBTQ community.

“If you’ve not welcomed the queer community into your life, either as friends or should you be so lucky, your children, you are cutting off your nose to spite your face,” Harden said. “You’re missing out on a fabulous life experience and basically you’re making a great big mistake.”

Harden was presented with the Vanguard Award by her “Code Black” co-star Harry Ford.

“Saying to your children, you can’t be you and live in my home or be in my family, you are losing out because they won’t come home for Christmas,” Harden said.

And then she cracked, “Honey, you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen a lesbian stuff a Thanksgiving turkey. No one chooses the holiday decorations for the Christmas party faster than a gay man…And should your ex happen to show up at that same Christmas party with his girlfriend or perhaps the new wife, the queers will be the first to tell you that you are serving cunt.”

The gala, which took place Saturday night on the grounds of the LGBT Center in Hollywood, raised $1.25 million.

“To these mothers, I say join us, march with us, help us protect your child, help us protect their rights, be an ally,” Harden said. “Your life will be extraordinarily enhanced and open up wonderful new doors and new experiences for you.

“So instead of telling young people all across the country that who they are is somehow wrong or they are undeserving of dignity, join us in pointing out that what other people see as faults or cracks is simply where the light gets in,” she added.

The night’s program also included longtime community activist and center board member LuAnn Boylan being presented with the Rand Schrader Award by Billie Jean King and her wife Ilana Kloss.

Bianca Del Rio hosted the festivities. Mayor Karen Bass presented the center with an award “in recognition of the amazing work that goes on here and the lives that are saved every single day.”

Center CEO Joe Hollendoner spoke of the political attacks on the queer community. “These assaults on our community are not just defining moments for the center or our movement. They are defining moments for each of us,” he said. “As I see it, we have two paths forward: Either we choose to cede our hard-won progress in our fight for liberation, joy, and community or…we choose courage.

“We choose integrity,” he continued. “We choose to do what’s right. The Los Angels LGBT Center will always choose to lead with our values, and I know we can count on you to do the same.”