Seth Meyers closed the NBCUniversal upfront at Radio City Music Hall on Monday morning with plenty of jabs at his bosses. But perhaps his most cutting jokes were reserved for rival CBS and its Paramount Skydance owners.
“CBS did not hold an upfront presentation this year because at CBS, upfront just describes how they paid Trump to drop the lawsuit,” he said to applause from the crowd.
Earlier in his comedy routine for the gathered media buyers, Meyers noted that NBC was the No. 1 broadcast television network for the 2025 2026 season: “After over a decade, we have taken down CBS. Well, the Ellisons did, but I like to think we helped. Seriously, what’s going on over there? They’re so in the pocket for Trump that I heard next year ‘Survivor’ is in the Strait of Hormuz!”
And then referencing the impending Paramount Skydance/Warner Bros. Discovery merger, Meyers added: “Paramount Skydance has announced that it plans to merge its Paramount+ streaming service with HBO Max. So now you’ll get all your favorites in one place. Plus Paramount+!”
Paramount wasn’t the only target of Meyers’ barbs. The “Late Night With Seth Meyers” host noted that while NBCU continues to host its annual upfront at Radio City Music Hall, this year Netflix has relocated its event to Sunset Pier 94: “Netflix is hosting its upfronts at a pier on the Hudson River,” he said, “because once a Netflix show hits two seasons, that’s where they dump its body.”
Then there was a jab at his former cable colleagues: “And if you’re from out of town and you get hassled by someone for money on the subway, don’t panic. That’s just the Versant afterparty.”
Meyers opened his routine by introducing himself: “I’m Seth Meyers — or as the FCC calls me, ‘next.’”
But he also had a few jokes targeted toward Comcast, starting with the fact that last year, he noted, “NBC had it all, the Olympics, the Super Bowl. The more you think about it, the more it breaks your heart that we’re up here selling next year. NBC has the Emmys this year. Well, we’re airing them. HBO is the one who actually gets to have them.”
But he also had a few jokes targeted toward Comcast, starting with the fact that while the conglom made a play for Warner Bros. Discovery — it perhaps wasn’t all that forceful.
“Comcast actually made a bid too, but no one thought we were actually gonna get it,” he said. “Was kind of like that one friend who always pretends to reach for his wallet after the check comes, ‘No, no, Comcast, you can get the next time.’ ‘Thanks, I’m a little light after buying the NBA.’”
“Speaking of streamers, Comcast said on its most recent earnings call, that peacock is approaching profitability in the same way Kevin Hart is approaching seven feet tall,” he said. “But it’s an exciting time for Peacock. Season 8 of ‘Love Island USA’ is set to premier June. So please, please get the HPV vaccine. If you’re the ad rep for Valtrex, what are you waiting for?”
Speaking of “Love Island,” Meyers noted that the Peacock series is back. “That’s ‘Love Island,’ the show President Trump calls, ‘I never went there!’”
Also, he noted that NBCUniversal poached “Yellowstone” creator Taylor Sheridan last year from Paramount in a deal worth a reported $1 million — “which means I’m finally going to get a call from my dad asking, ‘What channel is NBC on?’ I love Taylor Sheridan, but I can never figure out if he’s the white Tyler Perry or the straight Ryan Murphy. Or, is it Dick Wolf with a cowboy hat? Personally, I’m just hoping Taylor Sheridan will collaborate on the first cattle ranching show set in Chicago. Get excited for ‘Chicago Beef!’”
Speaking of Wolf, Meyers noted that “Law & Order: SVU” was renewed for Season 28. “And I don’t want to spoil any guest stars, but let’s just say, Prince Andrew applied for his SAG card!”
Vin Diesel was at the upfront to announce the “Fast and the Furious” series in development at Peacock. “But do to rising oil prices, he now goes by Vin Ethanol… there was a car here for ‘the Fast & Furious’ — but only because Tiger Woods crashed it into the lobby.”
“NBC Sunday Night Football” was watched this year by an average 23.5 million viewers — “and to boost ratings this year, Mike Tirico and Cris Collinsworth will start a ‘Heated Rivalry’ style affair. It’s going to be really steamy, and Cris will call all the games in a Russian accent.”
For his closer, Meyers had one more joke up his sleeve for his Eye competitors: “NBC is turning 100 years old this year. Which means right now, it’s watching CBS.”
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