Tag: Deadline News

  • ‘SNL’ Cold Open Goes Full MAGA Midterms Desperation With Hegseth’s “Schlong Donkeys”, Trump’s Rambles & A Sad VP

    Just a month away from the volatile midterms and a president way down in the polls, there was once again a plethora of political material ripe for this week’s SNL cold open, and the NBC late-nighter went full MAGA, with some Mitch McConnell on the side.

    Played by Mickey Day, the wheelchair bound 84-year-old Kentucky senator offered a premature “Live from New York” before being cut off by RNC ad consultants desperate to turn things around for the GOP. To that, there was a “He tricked us” (in Spanish) Marco Rubio, portrayed by the always on point Marcello Hernández, and a 2028 J.D. Vance (Jeremy Culhane) that no one wanted to actually put in a spot.

    Then there was Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth, putting the fun in whack job Defense Secretary once again.

    “What’s up, schlong donkeys?” the Saturday Night Live Weekend Update co-anchor began in what might have been one of the greatest campaign ads ever (we’re talking 1954 Daisy level) if it was real. “Now listen up, okay, because I need all you patriots at home to do the gayest thing ever and vote. Thanks to me, the military finally has its priorities and sexuality straight.”

    Tossing in some slam poetry, Jost’s Hegseth added: “In conclusion, vote, I guess. And remember, even if you’re stationed overseas, you can still vote by mail, which is the only by mail I’m cool with.”

    Of course, this being a MAGA parody and being SNL, the joke had to go further. Having said that, unlike many too-long cold opens, this semi-morbid midterm skit work at the extra length – entirely because POTUS came to cook, base loathing and all.

    “I’m President Trump and I approve this ramble,” started a typically and wonderfully unhinged James Austin Johnson.

    Drawing from the fiction that is so much of Trumpland’s facts, he added in the fake ad: “We’re getting mogged out there, but not for long because I have a solution. If the Republicans win, I’ll give everyone $5,000, and that is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through on that promise.’

    “So, just pretend I’m on the ballot, okay? You have to use something called imagination. Imagination makes a MAGA nation. Wow, that’s pretty good. I can already see that written on the back of an obese woman’s booty shorts in dirty, disgusting Myrtle Beach. What a hell all this country is! It’s full of awful people.”

    Perhaps, but not in tonight’s spot-on cold open.

    Delayed a tad again on the West Coast like last week’s season opener thanks to college football, tonight’s SNL is the second show of the 52nd season.

    Verity star Dakota Johnson is hosting SNL for the third time. Coming off a big box office start for the Collen Hoover thriller, Johnson is joined by Turnstile as musical guest, the Maryland rockers’ SNL debut. Next week will see one-time dumped cast member Shane Gillis back for his third time hosting. The October 10 show will see the much-acclaimed Rosalía returning for her third SNL appearance.

  • DOJ Argues CNN & Other Outlets Can Be Banned From White House If Trump Determines They Didn’t Meet “Minimum Requirements Of Professionalism”

    DOJ Argues CNN & Other Outlets Can Be Banned From White House If Trump Determines They Didn’t Meet “Minimum Requirements Of Professionalism”

    The Justice Department argued that Donald Trump can legally ban CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House because he determined that they didn’t meet the “minimum requirements of professionalism.”

    Last month, a federal judge granted the three outlets a temporary restraining order that forced the White House to reinstate dozens of their reporters’ hard passes. The outlets are now asking the judge to extend that 14-day order for a longer term via a preliminary injunction, claiming that Trump’s ban is a violation of their First and Fifth amendment rights.

    U.S. District Judge Timothy Kelly, a Trump appointee, has said that he is bound by the precedent set in In a 1977 D.C. Circuit opinion, Sherrill vs. Knight, in which the judges ruled that “the protection afforded newsgathering under the First Amendment guarantee of freedom of the press requires that this access not be denied arbitrarily or for less than compelling reasons.”

    In a court filing on Friday, the DOJ claimed that the Sherrill case still would allow for the president to restrict the three outlets from accessing the White House grounds because the White House has a “compelling interest.”

    The DOJ lawyers claimed that the Sherrill decision does not “prevent the President from concluding that bona fide journalists would identify sources instead of relying on anonymous sources, commit to factual accuracy, and provide the White House an opportunity to comment, rather than ‘perform their duties in a way that … interfere[s] with the White House’s daily operations.’ …At a bare minimum, it is a significant violation of decorum to publish classified and sensitive national security information.”

    The news outlets’ legal team has rejected that assertion, writing in a filing earlier this week that Trump’s “statements also make clear he implemented the ban to coerce more favorable coverage from CNN, MS NOW, and Politico, and to deter other journalists and news organizations from newsgathering and reporting that the President might view as negative. And his administration has continued to retaliate against Plaintiffs even after the temporary restraining order, only underscoring that Defendants’ motive is to punish and chill journalism they dislike.”

    Even as access to the White House grounds has been reinstated, the White House has continued to restrict CNN from coverage of TV pool assignments, including travel with Trump on Air Force One.

    The outlets’ lawyers, led by Theodore Boutrous Jr., also noted that Trump and other White House officials “overlooked that the First Amendment protects reporting on matters affecting national security.”

    Kelly has set a hearing for Thursday on the news outlets’ motion for a preliminary injunction.

    In granting a TRO, Kelly concluded that the White House failed to provide due process to the news outlets.

    The DOJ has pointed to letters sent to the outlets as evidence that they were given due process. But those letters were sent on Sept. 22, four days after Trump’s ban was started.

    The judge also has noted that some of the objectionable stories cited by the DOJ do not have to do with national security. Kelly wrote in his order that “even the justifications provided to Plaintiffs after this case was filed are ambiguous about the true purpose of the revocations: while Defendants’ letters to Plaintiffs mention national security concerns, they purport to identify reporting that ‘threatened national security and/or spread falsehoods’ leaving open the possibility that all the stories fall into the later bucket, rather than the former.”

  • ‘SNL’ Cold Open Goes Full MAGA Midterms Desperation With Hegseth’s “Schlong Donkeys”, Trump’s Rambles & A Sad VP

    Just a month away from the volatile midterms and a president way down in the polls, there was once again a plethora of political material ripe for this week’s SNL cold open, and the NBC late-nighter went full MAGA, with some Mitch McConnell on the side.

    Played by Mickey Day, the wheelchair bound 84-year-old Kentucky senator offered a premature “Live from New York” before being cut off by RNC ad consultants desperate to turn things around for the GOP. To that, there was a “He tricked us” (in Spanish) Marco Rubio, portrayed by the always on point Marcello Hernández, and a 2028 J.D. Vance (Jeremy Culhane) that no one wanted to actually put in a spot.

    Then there was Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth, putting the fun in whack job Defense Secretary once again.

    “What’s up, schlong donkeys?” the Saturday Night Live Weekend Update co-anchor began in what might have been one of the greatest campaign ads ever (we’re talking 1954 Daisy level) if it was real. “Now listen up, okay, because I need all you patriots at home to do the gayest thing ever and vote. Thanks to me, the military finally has its priorities and sexuality straight.”

    Tossing in some slam poetry, Jost’s Hegseth added: “In conclusion, vote, I guess. And remember, even if you’re stationed overseas, you can still vote by mail, which is the only by mail I’m cool with.”

    Of course, this being a MAGA parody and being SNL, the joke had to go further. Having said that, unlike many too-long cold opens, this semi-morbid midterm skit work at the extra length – entirely because POTUS came to cook, base loathing and all.

    “I’m President Trump and I approve this ramble,” started a typically and wonderfully unhinged James Austin Johnson.

    Drawing from the fiction that is so much of Trumpland’s facts, he added in the fake ad: “We’re getting mogged out there, but not for long because I have a solution. If the Republicans win, I’ll give everyone $5,000, and that is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through on that promise.’

    “So, just pretend I’m on the ballot, okay? You have to use something called imagination. Imagination makes a MAGA nation. Wow, that’s pretty good. I can already see that written on the back of an obese woman’s booty shorts in dirty, disgusting Myrtle Beach. What a hell all this country is! It’s full of awful people.”

    Perhaps, but not in tonight’s spot-on cold open.

    Delayed a tad again on the West Coast like last week’s season opener thanks to college football, tonight’s SNL is the second show of the 52nd season.

    Verity star Dakota Johnson is hosting SNL for the third time. Coming off a big box office start for the Collen Hoover thriller, Johnson is joined by Turnstile as musical guest, the Maryland rockers’ SNL debut. Next week will see one-time dumped cast member Shane Gillis back for his third time hosting. The October 10 show will see the much-acclaimed Rosalía returning for her third SNL appearance.

  • DOJ Argues CNN & Other Outlets Can Be Banned From White House If Trump Determines They Didn’t Meet “Minimum Requirements Of Professionalism”

    DOJ Argues CNN & Other Outlets Can Be Banned From White House If Trump Determines They Didn’t Meet “Minimum Requirements Of Professionalism”

    The Justice Department argued that Donald Trump can legally ban CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House because he determined that they didn’t meet the “minimum requirements of professionalism.”

    Last month, a federal judge granted the three outlets a temporary restraining order that forced the White House to reinstate dozens of their reporters’ hard passes. The outlets are now asking the judge to extend that 14-day order for a longer term via a preliminary injunction, claiming that Trump’s ban is a violation of their First and Fifth amendment rights.

    U.S. District Judge Timothy Kelly, a Trump appointee, has said that he is bound by the precedent set in In a 1977 D.C. Circuit opinion, Sherrill vs. Knight, in which the judges ruled that “the protection afforded newsgathering under the First Amendment guarantee of freedom of the press requires that this access not be denied arbitrarily or for less than compelling reasons.”

    In a court filing on Friday, the DOJ claimed that the Sherrill case still would allow for the president to restrict the three outlets from accessing the White House grounds because the White House has a “compelling interest.”

    The DOJ lawyers claimed that the Sherrill decision does not “prevent the President from concluding that bona fide journalists would identify sources instead of relying on anonymous sources, commit to factual accuracy, and provide the White House an opportunity to comment, rather than ‘perform their duties in a way that … interfere[s] with the White House’s daily operations.’ …At a bare minimum, it is a significant violation of decorum to publish classified and sensitive national security information.”

    The news outlets’ legal team has rejected that assertion, writing in a filing earlier this week that Trump’s “statements also make clear he implemented the ban to coerce more favorable coverage from CNN, MS NOW, and Politico, and to deter other journalists and news organizations from newsgathering and reporting that the President might view as negative. And his administration has continued to retaliate against Plaintiffs even after the temporary restraining order, only underscoring that Defendants’ motive is to punish and chill journalism they dislike.”

    Even as access to the White House grounds has been reinstated, the White House has continued to restrict CNN from coverage of TV pool assignments, including travel with Trump on Air Force One.

    The outlets’ lawyers, led by Theodore Boutrous Jr., also noted that Trump and other White House officials “overlooked that the First Amendment protects reporting on matters affecting national security.”

    Kelly has set a hearing for Thursday on the news outlets’ motion for a preliminary injunction.

    In granting a TRO, Kelly concluded that the White House failed to provide due process to the news outlets.

    The DOJ has pointed to letters sent to the outlets as evidence that they were given due process. But those letters were sent on Sept. 22, four days after Trump’s ban was started.

    The judge also has noted that some of the objectionable stories cited by the DOJ do not have to do with national security. Kelly wrote in his order that “even the justifications provided to Plaintiffs after this case was filed are ambiguous about the true purpose of the revocations: while Defendants’ letters to Plaintiffs mention national security concerns, they purport to identify reporting that ‘threatened national security and/or spread falsehoods’ leaving open the possibility that all the stories fall into the later bucket, rather than the former.”

  • ‘SNL’ Cold Open Goes Full MAGA Midterms Desperation With Hegseth’s “Schlong Donkeys”, Trump’s Rambles & A Sad VP

    Just a month away from the volatile midterms and a president way down in the polls, there was once again a plethora of political material ripe for this week’s SNL cold open, and the NBC late-nighter went full MAGA, with some Mitch McConnell on the side.

    Played by Mickey Day, the wheelchair bound 84-year-old Kentucky senator offered a premature “Live from New York” before being cut off by RNC ad consultants desperate to turn things around for the GOP. To that, there was a “He tricked us” (in Spanish) Marco Rubio, portrayed by the always on point Marcello Hernández, and a 2028 J.D. Vance (Jeremy Culhane) that no one wanted to actually put in a spot.

    Then there was Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth, putting the fun in whack job Defense Secretary once again.

    “What’s up, schlong donkeys?” the Saturday Night Live Weekend Update co-anchor began in what might have been one of the greatest campaign ads ever (we’re talking 1954 Daisy level) if it was real. “Now listen up, okay, because I need all you patriots at home to do the gayest thing ever and vote. Thanks to me, the military finally has its priorities and sexuality straight.”

    Tossing in some slam poetry, Jost’s Hegseth added: “In conclusion, vote, I guess. And remember, even if you’re stationed overseas, you can still vote by mail, which is the only by mail I’m cool with.”

    Of course, this being a MAGA parody and being SNL, the joke had to go further. Having said that, unlike many too-long cold opens, this semi-morbid midterm skit work at the extra length – entirely because POTUS came to cook, base loathing and all.

    “I’m President Trump and I approve this ramble,” started a typically and wonderfully unhinged James Austin Johnson.

    Drawing from the fiction that is so much of Trumpland’s facts, he added in the fake ad: “We’re getting mogged out there, but not for long because I have a solution. If the Republicans win, I’ll give everyone $5,000, and that is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through on that promise.’

    “So, just pretend I’m on the ballot, okay? You have to use something called imagination. Imagination makes a MAGA nation. Wow, that’s pretty good. I can already see that written on the back of an obese woman’s booty shorts in dirty, disgusting Myrtle Beach. What a hell all this country is! It’s full of awful people.”

    Perhaps, but not in tonight’s spot-on cold open.

    Delayed a tad again on the West Coast like last week’s season opener thanks to college football, tonight’s SNL is the second show of the 52nd season.

    Verity star Dakota Johnson is hosting SNL for the third time. Coming off a big box office start for the Collen Hoover thriller, Johnson is joined by Turnstile as musical guest, the Maryland rockers’ SNL debut. Next week will see one-time dumped cast member Shane Gillis back for his third time hosting. The October 10 show will see the much-acclaimed Rosalía returning for her third SNL appearance.

  • DOJ Argues CNN & Other Outlets Can Be Banned From White House If Trump Determines They Didn’t Meet “Minimum Requirements Of Professionalism”

    DOJ Argues CNN & Other Outlets Can Be Banned From White House If Trump Determines They Didn’t Meet “Minimum Requirements Of Professionalism”

    The Justice Department argued that Donald Trump can legally ban CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House because he determined that they didn’t meet the “minimum requirements of professionalism.”

    Last month, a federal judge granted the three outlets a temporary restraining order that forced the White House to reinstate dozens of their reporters’ hard passes. The outlets are now asking the judge to extend that 14-day order for a longer term via a preliminary injunction, claiming that Trump’s ban is a violation of their First and Fifth amendment rights.

    U.S. District Judge Timothy Kelly, a Trump appointee, has said that he is bound by the precedent set in In a 1977 D.C. Circuit opinion, Sherrill vs. Knight, in which the judges ruled that “the protection afforded newsgathering under the First Amendment guarantee of freedom of the press requires that this access not be denied arbitrarily or for less than compelling reasons.”

    In a court filing on Friday, the DOJ claimed that the Sherrill case still would allow for the president to restrict the three outlets from accessing the White House grounds because the White House has a “compelling interest.”

    The DOJ lawyers claimed that the Sherrill decision does not “prevent the President from concluding that bona fide journalists would identify sources instead of relying on anonymous sources, commit to factual accuracy, and provide the White House an opportunity to comment, rather than ‘perform their duties in a way that … interfere[s] with the White House’s daily operations.’ …At a bare minimum, it is a significant violation of decorum to publish classified and sensitive national security information.”

    The news outlets’ legal team has rejected that assertion, writing in a filing earlier this week that Trump’s “statements also make clear he implemented the ban to coerce more favorable coverage from CNN, MS NOW, and Politico, and to deter other journalists and news organizations from newsgathering and reporting that the President might view as negative. And his administration has continued to retaliate against Plaintiffs even after the temporary restraining order, only underscoring that Defendants’ motive is to punish and chill journalism they dislike.”

    Even as access to the White House grounds has been reinstated, the White House has continued to restrict CNN from coverage of TV pool assignments, including travel with Trump on Air Force One.

    The outlets’ lawyers, led by Theodore Boutrous Jr., also noted that Trump and other White House officials “overlooked that the First Amendment protects reporting on matters affecting national security.”

    Kelly has set a hearing for Thursday on the news outlets’ motion for a preliminary injunction.

    In granting a TRO, Kelly concluded that the White House failed to provide due process to the news outlets.

    The DOJ has pointed to letters sent to the outlets as evidence that they were given due process. But those letters were sent on Sept. 22, four days after Trump’s ban was started.

    The judge also has noted that some of the objectionable stories cited by the DOJ do not have to do with national security. Kelly wrote in his order that “even the justifications provided to Plaintiffs after this case was filed are ambiguous about the true purpose of the revocations: while Defendants’ letters to Plaintiffs mention national security concerns, they purport to identify reporting that ‘threatened national security and/or spread falsehoods’ leaving open the possibility that all the stories fall into the later bucket, rather than the former.”

  • ‘SNL’ Cold Open Goes Full MAGA Midterms Desperation With Hegseth’s “Schlong Donkeys”, Trump’s Rambles & A Sad VP

    Just a month away from the volatile midterms and a president way down in the polls, there was once again a plethora of political material ripe for this week’s SNL cold open, and the NBC late-nighter went full MAGA, with some Mitch McConnell on the side.

    Played by Mickey Day, the wheelchair bound 84-year-old Kentucky senator offered a premature “Live from New York” before being cut off by RNC ad consultants desperate to turn things around for the GOP. To that, there was a “He tricked us” (in Spanish) Marco Rubio, portrayed by the always on point Marcello Hernández, and a 2028 J.D. Vance (Jeremy Culhane) that no one wanted to actually put in a spot.

    Then there was Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth, putting the fun in whack job Defense Secretary once again.

    “What’s up, schlong donkeys?” the Saturday Night Live Weekend Update co-anchor began in what might have been one of the greatest campaign ads ever (we’re talking 1954 Daisy level) if it was real. “Now listen up, okay, because I need all you patriots at home to do the gayest thing ever and vote. Thanks to me, the military finally has its priorities and sexuality straight.”

    Tossing in some slam poetry, Jost’s Hegseth added: “In conclusion, vote, I guess. And remember, even if you’re stationed overseas, you can still vote by mail, which is the only by mail I’m cool with.”

    Of course, this being a MAGA parody and being SNL, the joke had to go further. Having said that, unlike many too-long cold opens, this semi-morbid midterm skit work at the extra length – entirely because POTUS came to cook, base loathing and all.

    “I’m President Trump and I approve this ramble,” started a typically and wonderfully unhinged James Austin Johnson.

    Drawing from the fiction that is so much of Trumpland’s facts, he added in the fake ad: “We’re getting mogged out there, but not for long because I have a solution. If the Republicans win, I’ll give everyone $5,000, and that is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through on that promise.’

    “So, just pretend I’m on the ballot, okay? You have to use something called imagination. Imagination makes a MAGA nation. Wow, that’s pretty good. I can already see that written on the back of an obese woman’s booty shorts in dirty, disgusting Myrtle Beach. What a hell all this country is! It’s full of awful people.”

    Perhaps, but not in tonight’s spot-on cold open.

    Delayed a tad again on the West Coast like last week’s season opener thanks to college football, tonight’s SNL is the second show of the 52nd season.

    Verity star Dakota Johnson is hosting SNL for the third time. Coming off a big box office start for the Collen Hoover thriller, Johnson is joined by Turnstile as musical guest, the Maryland rockers’ SNL debut. Next week will see one-time dumped cast member Shane Gillis back for his third time hosting. The October 10 show will see the much-acclaimed Rosalía returning for her third SNL appearance.

  • DOJ Argues CNN & Other Outlets Can Be Banned From White House If Trump Determines They Didn’t Meet “Minimum Requirements Of Professionalism”

    DOJ Argues CNN & Other Outlets Can Be Banned From White House If Trump Determines They Didn’t Meet “Minimum Requirements Of Professionalism”

    The Justice Department argued that Donald Trump can legally ban CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House because he determined that they didn’t meet the “minimum requirements of professionalism.”

    Last month, a federal judge granted the three outlets a temporary restraining order that forced the White House to reinstate dozens of their reporters’ hard passes. The outlets are now asking the judge to extend that 14-day order for a longer term via a preliminary injunction, claiming that Trump’s ban is a violation of their First and Fifth amendment rights.

    U.S. District Judge Timothy Kelly, a Trump appointee, has said that he is bound by the precedent set in In a 1977 D.C. Circuit opinion, Sherrill vs. Knight, in which the judges ruled that “the protection afforded newsgathering under the First Amendment guarantee of freedom of the press requires that this access not be denied arbitrarily or for less than compelling reasons.”

    In a court filing on Friday, the DOJ claimed that the Sherrill case still would allow for the president to restrict the three outlets from accessing the White House grounds because the White House has a “compelling interest.”

    The DOJ lawyers claimed that the Sherrill decision does not “prevent the President from concluding that bona fide journalists would identify sources instead of relying on anonymous sources, commit to factual accuracy, and provide the White House an opportunity to comment, rather than ‘perform their duties in a way that … interfere[s] with the White House’s daily operations.’ …At a bare minimum, it is a significant violation of decorum to publish classified and sensitive national security information.”

    The news outlets’ legal team has rejected that assertion, writing in a filing earlier this week that Trump’s “statements also make clear he implemented the ban to coerce more favorable coverage from CNN, MS NOW, and Politico, and to deter other journalists and news organizations from newsgathering and reporting that the President might view as negative. And his administration has continued to retaliate against Plaintiffs even after the temporary restraining order, only underscoring that Defendants’ motive is to punish and chill journalism they dislike.”

    Even as access to the White House grounds has been reinstated, the White House has continued to restrict CNN from coverage of TV pool assignments, including travel with Trump on Air Force One.

    The outlets’ lawyers, led by Theodore Boutrous Jr., also noted that Trump and other White House officials “overlooked that the First Amendment protects reporting on matters affecting national security.”

    Kelly has set a hearing for Thursday on the news outlets’ motion for a preliminary injunction.

    In granting a TRO, Kelly concluded that the White House failed to provide due process to the news outlets.

    The DOJ has pointed to letters sent to the outlets as evidence that they were given due process. But those letters were sent on Sept. 22, four days after Trump’s ban was started.

    The judge also has noted that some of the objectionable stories cited by the DOJ do not have to do with national security. Kelly wrote in his order that “even the justifications provided to Plaintiffs after this case was filed are ambiguous about the true purpose of the revocations: while Defendants’ letters to Plaintiffs mention national security concerns, they purport to identify reporting that ‘threatened national security and/or spread falsehoods’ leaving open the possibility that all the stories fall into the later bucket, rather than the former.”

  • ‘SNL’ Cold Open Goes Full MAGA Midterms Desperation With Hegseth’s “Schlong Donkeys”, Trump’s Rambles & A Sad VP

    Just a month away from the volatile midterms and a president way down in the polls, there was once again a plethora of political material ripe for this week’s SNL cold open, and the NBC late-nighter went full MAGA, with some Mitch McConnell on the side.

    Played by Mickey Day, the wheelchair bound 84-year-old Kentucky senator offered a premature “Live from New York” before being cut off by RNC ad consultants desperate to turn things around for the GOP. To that, there was a “He tricked us” (in Spanish) Marco Rubio, portrayed by the always on point Marcello Hernández, and a 2028 J.D. Vance (Jeremy Culhane) that no one wanted to actually put in a spot.

    Then there was Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth, putting the fun in whack job Defense Secretary once again.

    “What’s up, schlong donkeys?” the Saturday Night Live Weekend Update co-anchor began in what might have been one of the greatest campaign ads ever (we’re talking 1954 Daisy level) if it was real. “Now listen up, okay, because I need all you patriots at home to do the gayest thing ever and vote. Thanks to me, the military finally has its priorities and sexuality straight.”

    Tossing in some slam poetry, Jost’s Hegseth added: “In conclusion, vote, I guess. And remember, even if you’re stationed overseas, you can still vote by mail, which is the only by mail I’m cool with.”

    Of course, this being a MAGA parody and being SNL, the joke had to go further. Having said that, unlike many too-long cold opens, this semi-morbid midterm skit work at the extra length – entirely because POTUS came to cook, base loathing and all.

    “I’m President Trump and I approve this ramble,” started a typically and wonderfully unhinged James Austin Johnson.

    Drawing from the fiction that is so much of Trumpland’s facts, he added in the fake ad: “We’re getting mogged out there, but not for long because I have a solution. If the Republicans win, I’ll give everyone $5,000, and that is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through on that promise.’

    “So, just pretend I’m on the ballot, okay? You have to use something called imagination. Imagination makes a MAGA nation. Wow, that’s pretty good. I can already see that written on the back of an obese woman’s booty shorts in dirty, disgusting Myrtle Beach. What a hell all this country is! It’s full of awful people.”

    Perhaps, but not in tonight’s spot-on cold open.

    Delayed a tad again on the West Coast like last week’s season opener thanks to college football, tonight’s SNL is the second show of the 52nd season.

    Verity star Dakota Johnson is hosting SNL for the third time. Coming off a big box office start for the Collen Hoover thriller, Johnson is joined by Turnstile as musical guest, the Maryland rockers’ SNL debut. Next week will see one-time dumped cast member Shane Gillis back for his third time hosting. The October 10 show will see the much-acclaimed Rosalía returning for her third SNL appearance.

  • DOJ Argues CNN & Other Outlets Can Be Banned From White House If Trump Determines They Didn’t Meet “Minimum Requirements Of Professionalism”

    DOJ Argues CNN & Other Outlets Can Be Banned From White House If Trump Determines They Didn’t Meet “Minimum Requirements Of Professionalism”

    The Justice Department argued that Donald Trump can legally ban CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House because he determined that they didn’t meet the “minimum requirements of professionalism.”

    Last month, a federal judge granted the three outlets a temporary restraining order that forced the White House to reinstate dozens of their reporters’ hard passes. The outlets are now asking the judge to extend that 14-day order for a longer term via a preliminary injunction, claiming that Trump’s ban is a violation of their First and Fifth amendment rights.

    U.S. District Judge Timothy Kelly, a Trump appointee, has said that he is bound by the precedent set in In a 1977 D.C. Circuit opinion, Sherrill vs. Knight, in which the judges ruled that “the protection afforded newsgathering under the First Amendment guarantee of freedom of the press requires that this access not be denied arbitrarily or for less than compelling reasons.”

    In a court filing on Friday, the DOJ claimed that the Sherrill case still would allow for the president to restrict the three outlets from accessing the White House grounds because the White House has a “compelling interest.”

    The DOJ lawyers claimed that the Sherrill decision does not “prevent the President from concluding that bona fide journalists would identify sources instead of relying on anonymous sources, commit to factual accuracy, and provide the White House an opportunity to comment, rather than ‘perform their duties in a way that … interfere[s] with the White House’s daily operations.’ …At a bare minimum, it is a significant violation of decorum to publish classified and sensitive national security information.”

    The news outlets’ legal team has rejected that assertion, writing in a filing earlier this week that Trump’s “statements also make clear he implemented the ban to coerce more favorable coverage from CNN, MS NOW, and Politico, and to deter other journalists and news organizations from newsgathering and reporting that the President might view as negative. And his administration has continued to retaliate against Plaintiffs even after the temporary restraining order, only underscoring that Defendants’ motive is to punish and chill journalism they dislike.”

    Even as access to the White House grounds has been reinstated, the White House has continued to restrict CNN from coverage of TV pool assignments, including travel with Trump on Air Force One.

    The outlets’ lawyers, led by Theodore Boutrous Jr., also noted that Trump and other White House officials “overlooked that the First Amendment protects reporting on matters affecting national security.”

    Kelly has set a hearing for Thursday on the news outlets’ motion for a preliminary injunction.

    In granting a TRO, Kelly concluded that the White House failed to provide due process to the news outlets.

    The DOJ has pointed to letters sent to the outlets as evidence that they were given due process. But those letters were sent on Sept. 22, four days after Trump’s ban was started.

    The judge also has noted that some of the objectionable stories cited by the DOJ do not have to do with national security. Kelly wrote in his order that “even the justifications provided to Plaintiffs after this case was filed are ambiguous about the true purpose of the revocations: while Defendants’ letters to Plaintiffs mention national security concerns, they purport to identify reporting that ‘threatened national security and/or spread falsehoods’ leaving open the possibility that all the stories fall into the later bucket, rather than the former.”