More people are choosing to sleep apart from their partner in a growing trend known as ‘sleep divorce’, but how might someone who wants to try this ask?
It’s easy to see why asking to sleep in separate rooms might come across badly to your partner.
They might assume, despite your repeated assertions to the contrary, that they snore, or even just feeling a more general sense of dejection and anxiety at nagging questions like if they did something bad, or if this is a bad sign for the relationship, which admittedly the term ‘sleep divorce‘ doesn’t exactly help with.
Despite this, the trend is on the up, with data from sleep specialists Sleep ZM saying that out of 2,000 adults that were surveyed by Dreams, 25 percent said that they sleep better with their partner not there.
Of course, sleeping apart can have bad connotations – trekking down to the sofa feels more like the aftermath of an argument than wanting better shut eye, but if you are someone who would like to try sleeping separately from your partner there are ways that you can approach the topic to make it seem less like an affront to them.
Snoring was the most common complaint (Getty Stock)
SleepZM suggested picking a moment when you have time to talk, so not when you’re rushing or already stressed out by something else, and then broach the topic.
They suggest phrasing it by saying something like: “I’ve been waking up when you get in from your late shift, and I’m finding it hard to get back to sleep. Could we try separate beds on your next two late shifts and see how we both feel?”
Of course, adapt that to suit whatever situation it is which has made sleeping in the same bed more tricky.
This way, they suggest, you’re approaching it in a way which is less accusatory and more gentle.
There are a lot of reasons why sharing a bed might make it more difficult to get a good night’s sleep.
Duvet hogging was another complaint (Getty Stock)
According to Dreams’ survey, snoring was the most common complaint, with 52 percent of respondents citing that, while 35 percent said that it was to do with taking up too much space, and hogging the covers at 33 percent.
And while getting warm and snuggly might be good in winter, it’s a different story in a heatwave, and 23 percent of respondents said that their partner gave off too much heat.
Other things might include different shift patterns meaning that one person is getting up much earlier than the other, or arriving home much later and waking them when they come to bed.
You also don’t have to jump straight to sleeping apart as well.
If you identify what the issue is then you might try other steps to remedy that first.
For example, if duvet hogging is the problem then you can get an extra duvet so you have one each, you might sensitively suggest snoring remedies such as nasal strips, or if you have the room you could get a bigger bed so space is less of an issue.
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