Warning: This article contains discussion of alcoholism which some readers may find distressing.
A woman who admitted she was ‘knocking on death’s door’ before she got sober has been hailed online for sharing the grim reality of alcoholism.
Emily offered a brutally honest recollection of some of her ’embarrassing’ behaviour at the height of her addiction and her shocking story has since gone viral on social media.
She warned people that her tales would likely ‘leave a non-drinker in a coma’ – and she wasn’t kidding.
Emily, who has been on the wagon since February 2023, explained she wanted to share her experience in the hopes of ‘helping others feel seen’ and inspiring them to follow suit.
She has candidly discussed how she was diagnosed with alcohol use disorder (AUD) at just 18-years-old and was ‘physically dependent’ on booze by the time she turned 21.
Emily bravely detailed some of her lowest points in life in the hopes of helping others (TikTok/@sober.emily)
But at the time, the American believed that she was ‘way too young to be considered an alcoholic‘, saying: “I kept telling myself I couldn’t possibly be that bad, even when my entire life was falling apart.”
Emily admitted that she realised she had a problem with her reliance on alcohol ‘before she was willing to do anything about it’ – and by this point, her behaviour had spiralled out of control.
In a series of candid videos shared to TikTok, she detailed how alcoholism ‘almost killed her’ after partying occasionally quickly turned into daily drinking sessions which led to her ‘blacking out every single night’.
Emily shared a sobering clip explaining how she prioritised booze over her health and hygiene, which has now been viewed more than six million times.
Sharing some of the habits that she ‘considered normal’ while in the throes of addiction, she revealed that she ‘lived in absolute filth’ and would urinate in her bed ‘every single night’.
‘All I cared about was vodka’
“From the amount of liquor that I was drinking, I did not care at all,” Emily said. “It got to the point where I finally cared enough to throw all of my bedding away, so then I was left sleeping on my mattress in my winter coat.
“I can’t even wrap my head around the fact that I used to do that, because my bedding gets cleaned once a week now.”
The content creator said that she also allowed her mail box to pile up to epic proportions, as she was unconcerned about letters, bills and other correspondence she received.
She recalled: “If there was not a coupon or a free bottle of vodka, I was not going to get my mail. All I cared about was having vodka, drinking my vodka, when I needed to get more and getting more.”
While consumed by alcoholism, Emily also didn’t have any interest in eating, as she ‘did not want the food to soak up the alcohol’.
She explained she began drinking in her teens before it quickly spiralled out of control (TikTok/@sober.emily)
As a result, her cupboards were completely bare, apart from a packet of pasta – which she said she would only eat to avoid collapsing.
“With the amount I was drinking and how it started affecting my body, I could not walk from one side of my house to the other without passing out at least once,” she admitted.
“So at the point I knew I had to eat something, I would open my cabinet and eat raw macaroni noodles. Enough to get me by.”
Constantly boozing also caused her to experience alcohol poisoning, which can be fatal, on multiple occasions – but she still continued to drink copious amounts.
She told her 41,000 TikTok followers: “When you have alcohol poisoning and you’re a severe alcoholic, you start to get creative. When you can’t keep water down, the first couple times, you’re not going to be able to keep vodka down. I would put a bucket next to me because it would come right back up and I would drink from that bucket right after.”
Emily’s lowest points
Emily went on: “At that point I wasn’t even concerned that I couldn’t keep any liquids down, I was concerned that I was wasting vodka. I drank it from my spit bucket.”
She said she would also ‘pee and puke blood’, but this was still ‘not enough for her to stop drinking’.
The TikToker continued: “In fact, things like that would happen and my first thought was, ‘I need to go get a bottle, I need to forget about it, that is a later problem for me’. Isn’t that crazy?”
It’s safe to say that social media users were left stunned by her frank admissions, but people also heaped praise on Emily for being so honest about her battle with alcoholism.
Some were left questioning ‘how she was still alive’ and admitted they had ‘never heard anything like this’, while others were left gobsmacked by how ‘incredibly resilient’ she is.
You can watch her video here, but be aware it does contain some strong language:
One person wrote: “I cannot even fathom the sheer bravery it takes to make a video like this. My god. You have inspired so many to seek help. Congrats on getting through to the other side.”
Another said: “This testimony is such a good example of how strong addiction is. Some people will never be wrap their head around what it does to the brain.”
A third added: “I thought I wasn’t going to think it was that bad…”
And a fourth chimed in saying: “Thank you for being so vulnerable. Congrats on your sobriety.”
Emily shared another video explaining although she ‘doesn’t love’ that millions of people now know about these dark chapters in her life, she believes it is extremely important to raise awareness of the reality of alcoholism.
“I spent years hiding my alcoholism because I was ashamed of it,” she added. “I’m not spending my sobriety hiding the things that might help someone else survive theirs.”
Please drink responsibly. If you want to discuss any issues relating to alcohol in confidence, contact Drinkline on 0300 123 1110, 9am–8pm weekdays and 11am–4pm weekends for advice and support.
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